that just bites

Clinton has his 15 year college reunion this weekend. I'll be with him. Most of these people don't know me. I have 3 very large, very red mosquito (or perhaps spider) bites above my right eyebrow. Honestly. Don't I have enough to worry about?

Refreshed

I've been thirsty lately. Spiritually thirsty.

This was crystal clear, cool water this morning.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. - Ephesians 3:20

"...working within us..." He is so patient!

"...deeply and gently within us." He is so loving, so devoted!

All I had to do was invite Him into my life. He gave me this and so much more. Himself- His Spirit living in and through me. That takes my breath away this morning and I am renewed...refreshed.

Absent

4 kids, school starting, family and family events, traveling, etc. all have contributed to my recent absence. And, I started another blog. Actually, I moved our family site and have been maintaining it more faithfully. This was prompted by my dad's trip. The site makes it easy for far away (and not so far away) friends and family to see pics and read about the latest happenings here. And, it is easier and a bit more flexible than sending out mass e-mails. Now that it is hosted by WordPress I don't have to wait to use Clinton's Mac either! Why WordPress? Because I read some blogs powered by WordPress and like what I see. I wanted to give a try for myself. And - it is free just like Blogger.

So, I'm still here. God and I are o.k. - I just don't have the time, energy or frankly the will to put it all into writing for others to read right now. My attentions and energies are happily diverted in the direction of my family. My blogging energy is currently being channeled in the direction of our family site. I'm not posting the address in a effort to keep it more private. I want to be able to put pictures and stories about my kids on there without having to worry about the creeps that troll mommy blogs looking for kid pictures. Unfortunately, our main computer died a few weeks ago. I'm missing many e-mail addresses. So friends, if you didn't hear from me with our new family site address, please get in touch with me and I'll pass it right along.

I'll be back...promise! :)

"It's only 180 days"

"I'm so depressed. I just ate 5 cupcakes. Didn't even chew. I just swallowed them like pills."

That is a quote from one of my sweetest -and funniest- friends, Kerry. She wrote it in an e-mail to me just days before we moved. I thought of it because it pretty much describes me. If I had 5 cupcakes right now.

In about an hour my Dad will board a plane for Iraq and won't return for 6 months. The last time he went away for 6 months was during Desert Storm. I was in high school. It's been more than 15 years but I recognize the heavy knot twisting in my stomach.

A friend and I were talking about his upcoming departure and said, "I guess I didn't think about...well...guys his age having to go." That was cute. It made me realize that most people assume that if you are going to Iraq you are in the military and are probably younger. My dad is a civilian and has worked in the field of intelligence ever since he left the Army as a young man.

He didn't have to go. He wants to go. He told my girls about it in ways they could understand. "I'm going to help the soldiers and to help the war be over sooner." He is going to make a difference and I believe that he can. My dad works at things that are purposeful. He is not willing to give his time to efforts for the sake of effort alone. He demands results. I respect that.

I believe in him. I'm proud of him. It still has been so hard to say goodbye. We were with my parents, brother, sister-in-law and niece this past weekend in Virginia. We all had such a good time together. Clinton, the kids and I left Monday evening. It was so hard not to just hang on his neck and sob "Don't go!" I've been trying to figure out why I feel this way. Feel so strongly. I mean, when I was in high school, he was still the only man in my life. My daddy. Now I have a wonderfully committed, loving husband who is the only man I really need in my life.

It came to me this evening when he called one last time on his way to the airport. We talked for a minute and I made him laugh out loud. He talked to each of the girls and then we got back on for one last goodbye. The words started to stick in my throat. He did the same thing he did on my wedding day. He spoke lovingly and reassuringly through his own tears. On that day it was, "You're going to do great. You look beautiful." Today it was, "It's going to be o.k. I'll be back before you know it. It's only 180 days."

So, as I sat on my steps crying I realized how far we have come, my dad and I. In some ways I have felt closer to him. Little things like being able to make him laugh seem huge to me - as if he is finally letting me into his world that he protected so fiercely for so many years. And, watching him with my daughters has let me feel like he is a part of my life in a way I didn't experience as a child. So, all these developments in our relationship - all these warm fuzzies - and now the big empty gap. Maybe that's why it has been so difficult to say goodbye.

I'm not sure what will happen in the next 6 months but I can know that God does. He knows just how everything will go. The girls have had some sad moments since we've been back from Virginia. We just keep reminding them to pray for PopPop. To keep placing him in God's hands. We pray His protection, His strength, His will, His wisdom and His blessing over my dad.

We helped the girls make a little tribute video for my parent's anniversary. We made it with my dad's trip in mind. They each have a copy and Dad was able to take his with him.
The girls sang this at the end of the video.

The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face shine upon you.
And give you peace, and give you peace
And give you peace forever.

Offspring Malfunction

Disclaimer - this post is a major suck-up attempt yet it is true and full of sincerity.

Yesterday was my mother's birthday. I forgot. Well, I didn't so much forget the day as I did forget to call and acknowledge the day. Thankfully my mother is gracious and loving, willing to over-look my shortcomings. She rests peacefully in the knowledge that when her children and husband forget her birthday we apologize profusely and try to make it up to her in exaggerated ways. (Yes, you read the last sentence correctly. We all forgot. I forgot. My brother forgot. My father forgot.)

Here are some things I love about my mom...

She loves and gives sacrificially

She finds delight and joy in really knowing her granddaughters

When I was young, she believed in me even when I gave her no earthly good reason to do so

Although more health-conscious ways have prevailed in our lives as of late, she and I can polish off a pan of rice-krispy treats before the end of a 1/2 hour sitcom.

She can beat us all at Tetris

She makes a mean from-scratch-cinnamon-bun and the best-I've-ever-had peach pies

She is a constant, faithful friend...one of my very best

Oh...and she forgives me when I forget her birthday

I love you, Mom...so very much. Happy be-lated Birthday!

Home again, home again...

We've been home from vacation 4 1/2 days and I was just about getting my 'reality legs' under me again until...my 7 year old woke up with a stomach bug. I had hoped to have some time to share a little more about our time away. That may have to wait. The most I've been able to do is add a reply comment under my last post.

So, I'll be back soon...

We had a great vacation. A great time with family. As hard as it was to come home I'm glad to be back now. We're looking forward to more summer fun like visits from far-away friends (and maybe some not too far away!), another week of camp for my oldest, and other celebratory gatherings with family and friends.

Thanks for visiting...I'll be back when I can put The Bucket away!

It's more than a salad dressing

We are in the beautiful Thousand Islands, NY. We'll be away for a while so I may not be posting much. Thanks to my brilliant techie husband, I do have access to the internet...but there are loads of other things to keep us busy while we are here with my folks, brother, sister-in-law, and niece.

But...while I have just a few minutes...there is something that has been turning in my mind since the women's Sunday school class this past week. Here's a bit of what we were discussing:

I Corinthians 5:9-13a (from The Message)
9-13I wrote you in my earlier letter that you shouldn't make yourselves at home among the sexually promiscuous. I didn't mean that you should have nothing at all to do with outsiders of that sort. Or with crooks, whether blue or white-collar. Or with spiritual phonies, for that matter. You'd have to leave the world entirely to do that! But I am saying that you shouldn't act as if everything is just fine when a friend who claims to be a Christian is promiscuous or crooked, is flip with God or rude to friends, gets drunk or becomes greedy and predatory. You can't just go along with this, treating it as acceptable behavior. I'm not responsible for what the outsiders do, but don't we have some responsibility for those within our community of believers? God decides on the outsiders, but we need to decide when our brothers and sisters are out of line and, if necessary, clean house.

Following discussion question: What is the difference between belonging to the world and being in the world and associating with the world?

Matthew 5:13-16 (also from The Message)
13"Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

14-16"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

With this discussion question: If we are to be salt and light to an unbelieving world, we clearly cannot accomplish this task if we only minister within our "Christian bubble." How can we be salt and light without being of the world?"

The following, which I read in Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli, kept coming to mind. So, here is yet another quote...a great story that illustrates some of what we discussed.

"In his book The Easy Yoke, Doug Webster tells a story about an idealistic college student who ended up on a mission trip to one of the more dangerous housing projects in Philadelphia. A brand-new Christian, this wide-eyed urban missionary didn't have a clue how to evangelize the inner city. Frightened and anxious to share his new faith, the young man approached a very large tenement house. Cautiously making his way through the dark, cluttered hallways, he gingerly climbed up one flight of stairs to an apartment. He knocked on the door, and a woman holding a naked, howling baby opened it. She was smoking and not in any mood to hear some white, idealistic college boy tell her about Jesus. She started cursing him and slammed the door in his face. The young man was devastated.

He walked out to the street, sat on the curb, and wept. Look at me. How in the world could someone like me think I could tell anyone about Jesus? Then he remembered that the baby was naked and the woman was smoking. The plan forming in his head didn't seem terribly spiritual but...

He ran down the street to the local market and bought a box of diapers and a pack of cigarettes. When he knocked on the door again, he showed the woman his purchases. She hesitated and then invited him in. For the rest of the day, he played with the baby and changed its diapers (even though he had never changed diapers before). When the woman offered him a cigarette, even though he didn't smoke, he smoked. He spent the entire day smoking and changing diapers. Never said a word about Jesus. Late in the afternoon, the woman asked him why he was doing all this, and finally he got to tell her everything he knew about Jesus. Took about five minutes. When he stopped talking, the woman looked at him and said softly, "Pray for me and my baby that we can make it out of here alive," so he did.

...In one frustrating afternoon, he learned about the power of sensitivity, the meaning of evangelism, the hopelessness of those who live in urban areas. He also learned that sometimes the Holy Spirit asks us to violate our convictions for a season in order to live the faith, not just talk about it. When this young man returned to college he didn't start smoking, but he did start listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

This sentence is so key: "He also learned that sometimes the Holy Spirit asks us to violate our convictions for a season in order to live the faith, not just talk about it." Notice he doesn't say violate God's Word - scripture...but our own convictions and "for a season."

This post has gotten quite long...much longer than I first intended so I'll just shut up about all that for now. :)

And for those of you who are not from the Northeast and/or have never heard of the Thousand Islands...it is a region of NY and Canada in and along the St. Lawrence Seaway...some cool pictures and info. can be found here. If you are really bored curious, you can read all about the origin of Thousand Island dressing here.