I'll be back...

Thanks to a good friend for "ahem....I keep checking your blog...."

I've spent almost no time on the computer since last week!

Sunday - Monday: Clinton and I went to a concert in Wilkes-Barre and spent the night and next day there. We had a GREAT time by the way and we are so thankful to the 7 people who helped us with our 4 kids while we were gone!

Tuesday: Major catch-up day, painted a dresser for Lily's "new" room, started getting ready for in-laws visit this weekend...'nuff said.

Wednesday: Clinton, Abigail and I were the "helpers" at Lily's pre-school and took a birthday treat for the snack, lunch with my mom and grandparents then shopping for stuff for Lily's room. ....Lily has deemed this her birthday WEEK!

Thursday: The big day...Lily turns 5! We finished her room...those finishing touches take forever!...and surprised her with it after her birthday dinner of homemade pizza. She loved it!

Today: Lily's room looks great...the rest of my house is another story. Clinton's folks will be here this evening and stay for the weekend. They are giving us their piano - bringing it this trip.
4 little girls...a new piano in the house...note to self: add ear-plugs to shopping list

There you have it...I'll be back sometime next week! In the mean-time here's what God and I have been talking about: His holiness...His 'otherness' and my need for His heart and will to be mine...yes, I am needy...and not ashamed!

link-love

Please read this post from livingpalm's blog! It moved me...gave me a sob in my throat. It goes right along with things I've been thinking and praying about - people, relationships & my relationship with the One who can fill me completely - and it ties into what some of us have been discussing/thinking on from last week's Sunday School class-dvd.

"For a woman to enjoy relationship, she must repent of her need to control and her insistence that people fill her." - Something I stumble over regularly...when I detect it in my own life and those close to me. Not stumble as in "happen-upon"...stumble as in catch-my-foot-in-it-and-fall-on-my-face in a puddle of self-loathing or bitter-frustration with another.

"...being safe and secure in her relationship with her Lord, she can risk being vulnerable with others and offer her true self." - That is what I want...that is what I am seeking...and finding! This is exciting and scary at the same time. Because, in so doing, we are free to love. Denise said the same thing yesterday in S.S. The thought was, when we give Him everything, especially our insecurity, we become secure in Him and we are "free to love." And, I have witnessed that in her life! Thank you, Denise!

"To love at all is to be vulnerable." - This is the scary part for me...scary because I feel like I've only been "practicing" at it...maybe not really loving in a way that leaves me vulnerable outside of my husband and my kids. Ultimately, that is just a selfish-love. Doing it His way doesn't seem so scary anymore and I can see where I have stepped out in faith to love a few in my life this way. He never has failed me. So why in the world can't I just get this!
I know I know...wait...keep going to Him...keep seeking Him with my whole heart and stop leaning on what I think I know. (Prov. 3:5-6)

Anyone else on this journey with me? Weigh-in and encourage with your thoughts, struggles, victories, insights.

To Blog or Not to Blog...and other ponderings

My dear wire-head-husband pointed me to 9 Lessons for Would-be Bloggers by Joshua Porter. I got so much out of it I thought I would share. Some of what I read gave me a boost of confirmation and so much more taught me something such as:

"Everything is beta....If my blog is my beta (the blog itself is not beta…it’s the thoughts that are beta), then it becomes a place for trying out ideas and refining them."

It has great content for current bloggers and all you I've-thought-about-it/soon-to-be-blogger/ Jen-really-wants-you-to-blog types. And especially you but-it-seems-so-scary types! (And at this moment I'm thinking of a friend whose name rhymes with Menise Doore!...but don't think that lets Fanna Herris or Lmy Aogsdon off the hook!) I even would have found this article helpful when I was just a long-time-reader-of-blogs.

Let me know if you check it out and please share any thoughts/learnings!
*Added* - From my experience, commenting is the first step toward blogging. And to check out the article, click on it's title in the first sentence.

laugh-out-loud-ridiculous!

Ok...this is just a silly break-from-the-norm.

I was tooling along in my husband's little green car the other night...just me! I was hunting for a radio station that would come in well and found one of the Country persuasion. It's been a while since I've listened to country...I thought, "this'll do."

The first song had, as actual lyrics, "happy-meal" and "nuggets." I rolled my eyes and thought, "I've been away so long - they have run out of "real" lyrics!" Actually, the song had a sweet sentiment and a cute part about asking God for help. So, what seemed to start out ridiculously ended well.

Second song...it was was Brad Paisley. From my experience with country music, he is known for some of his humorous-tongue-in-cheek songs. This seems to be one of those. The whole song had me wide-eyed and wide-mouthed with...uh...astonishment...in a did-he-just-say-that? sort of way but here's the part where I laughed out loud.

I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you - way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you - through a field of wild flowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

...And I'd like to check you for ticks. There is just so much I could say...but I won't.

In Good Company

Some days I feel like I'm just too far gone...too mired in my own sin and selfishness to be any good. And, if I were God I would have given up on me a long time ago and I certainly wouldn't waste time trying to show me love. This "stinkin' thinkin'" is accentuated when I allow myself to view the followers of God described in the Bible as holier-than-thou-goodie-two-shoes types. Even though I've read for myself the contrary.

Some examples?

In the Old Testament: Noah - drunk & naked; Moses - rage & murder; Abraham & Sarah - liar liar; David - adultery & murder ---most of these things are detestable, even by today's standards!

In the New Testament Jesus loved and was followed by disciples who displayed in-fighting, selfishness, malice, unbelief, betrayal etc. etc. Others who jump out at me...the woman at the well & the woman caught in the act of adultery.


These were all real people like me...like you. They had their strengths, weaknesses and a desire to know and love God. Some lived in miserable circumstances, some made terrible choices, stepped in a lot of messes and some seem hopeless when you really examine their stories; but they were never beyond the forgiveness and love God offers.

My sin doesn't frighten Him. In the book I'm currently reading, Messy Spirituality, Michael Yaconelli puts these thoughts into words so well.

"Jesus is not repelled by us, no matter how messy we are, regardless of how incomplete we are. When we recognize that Jesus is not discouraged by our humanity, is not turned off by our messiness, and simply doggedly pursues us in the face of it all, what else can we do but give in to his outrageous, indiscriminate love?...

...We are a mess. None of us is who we appear to be. We all have secrets. We all have issues. We all struggle from time to time. No one is perfect. Not one. (I have just paraphrased Romans 3:10.) The essence of messy spirituality is the refusal to pretend, to lie, or to allow others to believe we are something we are not. Unfortunately, people can handle the most difficult issues more easily than they can handle the lack of pretending....

When we seek God, Jesus begins to take shape in our lives. He begins a good work in us, he starts changing us, but the finishing process is a more-than-a-lifetime process. The work of God in our lives will never be finished until we meet Jesus face to face. The author of Hebrews wrote, 'Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter [or finisher] of our faith.' Spirituality isn't about being finished and perfect; spirituality is about trusting God in our unfinishedness."

God's irrational love for me is starting to take on a shape I can recognize. I can believe it and trust it even while I still don't completely understand it. And a good friend said to me today at our Prayer Group, "...and you probably never will until you see Him."

Comment Troubles

The word in Bloggerville is that people are having a frustrating time getting comments posted. I'm still so green that I don't really know how to help except to pass on what I have "heard." Be patient because you may have to re-type the word verification a few times. Make sure you see the "your comment has been saved" at the top of the page. Slapping the keyboard has been rumored to work but I only can confirm that shouting at the screen doesn't.
You can always shoot me an e-mail if all else fails!

Days gone...

Wanna know what I've been up to for the past couple days?
Here ya go...sick days